How a PUA can defuse a situation by being above it

Interesting post in the forums:

In the Pickup-artist and seduction community I think inner-game is the whole thing I want. I really just want to be the best person I can be, I feel like the women will come on their own once I work to make MYSELF happy.
I was reading:
Alpha Trait #4: He is a Giver…. Not a Taker
An alpha man is one who gives value rather than takes it. He has nothing to prove to anyone else and therefore has no need to boast or brag. He seeks to leave people better than he found them because that is one of the chief marks of confidence. If someone comes and tries to intimidate him he does not match insult for insult but defuses the situation by being above it.
I’m searching for more information on ways to defuse common insults so that I can take this information and use it when I encounter situations involving insults in life.

Here are some good replies:

I like the Rearden for dealing with passive aggressive guys. Basically, when someone gives you back handed insults, you bait them into explaining themselves and force them into directly insulting you or to diffuse the situation themselves. It allows you to deal with passive aggressive betas without over reacting. Google for the rearden + the rawness blog if you want to read from the guy who came up with it.


Engaging with insults doesn’t give value to anyone, not the guy you’re engaging with, nor the bystanders. This is something that always pisses me off, it’s a lot of male chest bumping and one-upsmanship. Some guys think they bond through bullying, I think it’s bullshit.
It all depends on the circumstances, but if someone insults me in a social situation, I’d usually just say nothing and stare at them. It’s a sort of shit test, he’s trying to AMOG you and break your frame. Be imperturbable. Reactive is unattractive. I remember one story from an mPUA, he said he was being AMOGed by two guys while chatting to a girl, they were pulling him back and forth in front of the girl, while he was ignoring them and what they were doing. This just makes the AMOGs look like goddam idiots.


Funny that you mentioned “chest bumping” because sometimes when I am in a group and the guys around start the proverbial piossing contest they do like “I banged this babe” “That chick is a slut” “I kicked that dudes ass”, “What a queer” etc I actually start acting like a gorilla.
I thump my chest with my knuckles and make gorilla sounds, the girls start laughing and the guys have no idea how to react.


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