How to pick up Cougars (Hot older women)

Cougars: Hot older women

Here’s a post from the forum:

“My dancing class is full of cougars and they are very generous with their attention and are happy to have the attention of younger dudes. Anyone with experience chatting up cougars have some info to share? What are some ways to calibrate/frame my interactions with them?”


and of course, here are the replies:


Be even more charming, classy, and smooth than you aim for with younger women. You do not want to freak them out, and you definitely don’t want to seem like an immature jock. Go for a “James Bond” personality (Connery version) in a young guy’s body. They’ll love that you’re a young seducer, but they also want to see you as mature and in control. They don’t want to feel that they are doing all the work

What has also worked for me is being a little more aggressive than usual. Let them know you’re interested and aren’t shy about it. They’re not there to play games, they’re not flighty air-heads, and they really love attention and flirting.

What you really want to avoid is coming on too strong or too cheesy and letting them start to feel silly about the whole situation. Cougars love the feeling of being seduced, but they don’t want their girl-friends talking about the “kid” they went home with. Older women tend to be more socially conscious, in my experience, and they won’t want to k-close in a bar with other people watching. Basically, run the same game you run with other girls, just be more subtle and smooth about it, and isolate ASAP unless their friends are also on the hunt.

They will ALWAYS shit-test you about the age difference, in any of several ways. How I respond depends on the focus of the test. If they call me a baby, I agree and amplify:

  • “Yup, I’m actually only twelve, but I have an awesome fake ID. See this stubble? Yeah, that’s all magic marker. Go on, feel it, you’ll swear it’s real.” (90% of the time she’ll start touching your face)
  • “I am, aren’t I? I’m just a helpless little lamb for a wolf like you. What are you going to do with me?” Flash her a smirk that shows her exactly who the real wolf is. (I’ve mentioned this line on here before, and it’s probably my favorite. It has gotten me laid at least three times.)

Alternatively, if she says something about her own age, either ignore it or brush past it as breezily as possible:

  • “Do you know how old I am?” “No, but you’re the one I want to talk to tonight.”
  • “I think I’m too old for you.” “I think you’re too cute for this club. One of us is wrong.”
  • “I think I’m too old for you.” “I’m not as young as you think. How old do you think I am?”

The last one is my favorite, because it immediately shifts focus away from how old she is to how old you are. Let her guess a few times and tell her she’s wrong, even if she’s right. Tease her with a number that’s obviously untrue, like 67. Switch to something else, then admit you were just teasing her again. Keep it playful; you want to communicate that you don’t care about age, not that you have something to hide. After a few teases, she’ll figure out that she’s not getting your age out of you and you can usually change the subject without having to discuss hers. Just keep it natural, so she doesn’t figure out that you’re consciously steering the topic away from age.

If you’re doing it really right, you won’t even know each other’s ages until you’ve got enough attraction and comfort that she’s hooked. This has all worked for me more than once.


You don’t pick up cougars, they pick you up. 😉

Basically she will display interest, and all you have to do is not to mess up. Don’t mention the age difference. Don’t brag and don’t do anything try-hard, they will just see through it. Tease but don’t neghit.

Though, of course, it’s likely that most of the older women in your class aren’t really “cougars”, they’re probably just married chicks having fun.


I ended up with a fantastic cougar who kept telling me how another guy, about 1 and a half years younger then me, was so young, and such a baby (in the “he’s way too young”, kind of way). I never reacted when she said that, keep your frame. If I would have told her anything, it wouldn’t have worked. Now, of course she knows, but she doesn’t care, because she likes me, and what we do. Let her like you for who you are, and avoid the young label at all costs. She’ll know you are younger, don’t need to tell her by how much.


…and last, but not least:

Grow a mustache, I started one for a Halloween costume and have almost continually been getting IOIs from the cougars.